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Books to Help Cope with Death, Grief, Loss and Separation

When someone dies it can be incredibly hard to discuss this with children. We desperately don’t want to upset them, but we also want to be open and honest and guide them through learning how to deal with loss. A great way to open up this discussion is through books, and we have collated some of the best picture books that will really help navigate the subjects of death, grief, loss and separation. We hope you find them helpful.

Where are you Lydie

Where are you Lydie? by Emma Poore

For ages 3-7

This is a special picture book centred around the subject of sibling loss, sensitively written and illustrated for children between 3 and 7 years old. It is a facilitative story and guide for young children and their parents to explore death and bereavement together and to start those difficult conversations or explore the questions that may come up after the death of a baby in a safe and inspiring space. Grandparents, Teachers, Caring Support Professionals and friends can also share the story as a platform for exploration too. “It’s Lydie’s birthday today but she’s not here. In this honest and heartfelt story two brothers go on an emotional journey to find a way to connect with their baby sister. A true and uplifting story for young children about love, loss and hope.

The Invisible String

The Invisible String by Patrice Karst

For ages 3-6

Specifically written to address children’s fear of being apart from the ones they love, The Invisible String delivers a particularly compelling message in today’s uncertain times that though we may be separated from the ones we care for, whether through anger, or distance or even death, love is the unending connection that binds us all, and, by extension, ultimately binds every person on the planet to everyone else. Parents and children everywhere who are looking for reassurance and reaffirmation of the transcendent power of love, to bind, connect and comfort us through those inevitable times when life challenges us!

Chester Raccoon and the Acorn Full of Memories by Audrey Penn

For ages 3-8

Chester Raccoon’s good friend Skiddel Squirrel has had an accident and will not be returning – ever. Chester is upset that he won’t get to play with his friend anymore. Mrs. Raccoon suggests that Chester and his friends create some memories of Skiddel, so that they will have good memories when they miss him. Chester, his brother Ronny, and their friends decide to gather at the pond, where they combine their memories and create a touching celebration of their friend’s life. This sweet story will help children to understand the positive purpose behind memorial services and how “making memories” can provide cheer and comfort when missing an absent loved one.

Goldfish Ghost by Lemony Snicket

For ages 3-6

Goldfish Ghost was born on the surface of the water in the bowl on a dresser in a boy’s room. The boy’s room was pleasant and familiar, but Goldfish Ghost wanted company, so he set out to find a friend. He floats over the neighbourhood, past the pier, and let the breeze carry him into town where he discovers that not many people pay attention to goldfish ghosts. Off he floats, searching for the perfect home and the perfect friend and then he hears a voice…

This book brings a fresh and funny take on what happens after your favourite goldfish crosses over to the other side.

I miss you

I Miss You (A First Look at Death) by Pat Thomas and Lesley Harker

For ages 5-7

This reassuring picture book explores the difficult issue of death for young children. Children’s feelings and questions about this sensitive subject are looked at in a simple but realistic way. This book helps them to understand their loss and come to terms with it. Notes for parents and teachers at the back of the book provide valuable advice for how to share this book with your child.

The Memory Tree

The Memory Tree by Britta Teckentrup

For ages 3-5

A beautiful and heartfelt picture book to help children celebrate the memories left behind when a loved one dies. Fox has lived a long and happy life in the forest, but now he is tired. He lies down in his favourite clearing, and falls asleep for ever. Before long, Fox’s friends begin to gather in the clearing. One by one, they tell stories of the special moments that they shared with Fox. And so, as they share their memories, a tree begins to grow, becoming bigger and stronger with each memory, sheltering and protecting all the animals in the forest, just as Fox did when he was alive.

This gentle story about the loss of a loved one is perfect for sharing and will bring comfort to both children and parents.

When Dinosaur's Die

When Dinosaur’s Die (A Guide to Understanding Death) by Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown

For ages 4-8

No one can really understand death but to children, the passing away of a loved one can be especially perplexing and troublesome. This is true whether the loss is a classmate, friend, family member or pet. Here to offer advice and reassurance from some very wise dinosaurs. This succinct and thorough guide helps dispel the mystery and negative connotations associated with death, providing answers to some of the most-often asked questions and also explores the feelings we may have regarding the death of a loved one and the ways to remember someone after he or she has died.

The Tenth Good thing about Barney

The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst

For ages 6-9

My cat Barney died this Friday. I was very sad. My mother said we could have a funeral for him, and I should think of ten good things about Barney so I could tell them…
But the small boy who loved Barney can only think of nine. Later, while talking with his father, he discovers the tenth…and begins to understand.

Ida Always

Ida, Always by Caron Levis

For ages 4-8

Gus lives in a big park in the middle of an even bigger city, and he spends his days with Ida. Ida is right there. Always. Then one sad day, Gus learns that Ida is very sick, and she isn’t going to get better. The friends help each other face the difficult news with whispers, sniffles, cuddles, and even laughs. Slowly Gus realizes that even after Ida is gone, she will still be with him–through the sounds of their city, and the memories that live in their favourite spots.

Ida, Always is an exquisitely told story of two best friends–inspired by a real bear friendship–and a gentle, moving, needed reminder that loved ones lost will stay in our hearts, always.

Duck, Death and Tulip

Duck, Death and the Tulip by Wolf Erlbruch

For ages 7-12

In a strangely heart-warming story, a duck strikes up an unlikely friendship with Death. Death, Duck and the Tulip will intrigue, haunt and enchant readers of all ages. Simple, unusual, warm and witty, this book deals with a difficult subject in a way that is elegant, straightforward, and thought-provoking.

The Heart and the Bottle

The Heart and the Bottle by Oliver Jeffers

Once there was a girl whose life was filled with wonder at the world around her… Then one day something happened that made the girl take her heart and put it in a safe place. However, after that it seemed that the world was emptier than before. But would she know how to get her heart back?

In this deeply moving story, Oliver Jeffers deals with the weighty themes of love and loss with an extraordinary lightness of touch and shows us, ultimately, that there is always hope.

The Memory Box (A Book about Grief) by Joanna Rowland

From the perspective of a young child, author Joanna Rowland artfully describes what it’s like to remember and grieve a loved one who has died. The child in the story wonders if she will forget the person who has gone. Other days I wonder if I’ll ever stop feeling sad you are gone.

The main character creates a memory box to keep mementos and written memories of her loved one to help with the grieving process.

Wherever you are my love will find you

Wherever you are, my love will find you by Nancy Tillman

For ages 1-4

…I wanted you more than you’ll ever know, so I sent love to follow wherever you go… Love is the greatest gift we have to give our children. It’s the one thing they can carry with them each and every day. If love could take shape it might look something like these heartfelt words and images from the inimitable Nancy Tillman. Here is a book to share with your loved ones, no matter how near or far, young or old, they are.

Grandad's Island

Grandad’s Island by Benji Davies

For ages 2-6

At the bottom of Syd’s garden, through the gate and past the tree, is Grandad’s house. Syd can let himself in any time he likes. But one day when Syd comes to call, Grandad isn’t in any of the usual places. He’s in the attic, where he ushers Syd through a door, and the two of them journey to a wild, beautiful island awash in color where Grandad decides he will remain. So Syd hugs Grandad one last time and sets sail for home. Visiting Grandad’s house at the bottom of the garden again, he finds it just the same as it’s always been — except that Grandad isn’t there anymore. Sure to provide comfort to young children struggling to understand loss, Benji Davies’s tale is a sensitive and beautiful reminder that our loved ones live on in our memories long after they’re gone.

Always Remember

Always Remember by Cece Meng

For ages 3-7

After Old Turtle swims his last swim and breathes his last breath, and the waves gently take him away, his friends lovingly remember how he impacted each and every one of them. As the sea animals think back on how much better Old Turtle made their lives and their world, they realise that he is not truly gone, because his memory and legacy will last forever. Jago’s gorgeous illustrations accompany Cece Meng’s serene text in a book that will help children understand and cope with the death of a loved one.

Badger's Parting Gifts

Badger’s Parting Gifts by Susan Varley

For ages 4-7

Badger is so old that he knows he must soon die, so he does his best to prepare his friends. When he finally passes away, they are grief-stricken, but one by one they remember the special things he taught them during his life. By sharing their memories, they realise that although Badger is no longer with them physically, he lives on through his friends.

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